3904 jokes found.

It's raining cats and dogs

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

A nagging wife to her husband: “You don't care

A nagging wife to her husband: "You don't care. Something is preying on my mind."

Husband: "Don't you panic, it will find nothing."

My husband's brother-in-law

My husband's brother-in-law, Joseph, an American real estate agent, came to China for a short visit to our city.

To show hospitality at the welcoming dinner party, Mr.Sun, the host, entertained Joseph with Chinese wine, saying, "According to our custom, a brother-in-law coming to his wife's native country for the first time must drink three cups of wine."

Joseph declined the offer by saying, "Thank you, but I can't drink even one drop."

"Then our dinner won't be over without your drinking at least one cup," insisted Mr. Sun.

To this, Joseph responded, "The Korean War is over, Don't attack the Americans any

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more."

One afternoon

One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?"

he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food."

The poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!"

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"